February 2010 Mixtape: Musical Suggestions For Figure Skaters

I'm not disrespecting skating or the athletes involved in the least, but I don't claim to know much about the actual rules, standards or terminology involved, so please forgive my generalizations here.

So the television is on last night and the male figure skaters are performing in the freestyle or whatever it's called. Some of them are great and some of them are boring, but I keep noticing how cheesy some of the music they've chosen is. If it isn't something classical with strings it's probably corny, as evidenced by a fellow performing a routine to a muzak version of The Beatles A Day In The Life. So I got to thinking, wouldn't it be incredible if someone came out and did a routine to nothing but noise? Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music, Merzbow, things of that sort. What about experimental music? Christian Marclay, John Cage, Steve Reich, etc. could all be truly inspired and different. How about electronic music like Autechre, Aphex Twin or DJ Koze? This all got me thinking to make this months mixtape in this vein, as in things I would suggest to someone if they wanted to make their figure skating performance more interesting. Now, please take these suggestions with a grain of salt as they're definitely not for everyone and some are soaked in my rancid sense-of-humor, but I would legitimately find it wonderful if some of these recordings or other non-standard musical pieces found their way into the world of figure skating. They strive to keep their performances interesting, why not do that with the music too?

Disclaimer: This mixtape was assembled in about twenty minutes around midnight last night, so if it sounds totally bonkers, that's because I probably was.


The Unheard Music February 2010 Mixtape: Musical Suggestions For Figure Skaters

01 Brian Eno and David Byrne - Solo Guitar with Tin Foil
This could be amazing! Maximalist performance set to a minimalist record!

02 Autechre - Second Bad Vilbel
03 Sote - Electric Deaf
Loud electronic music!

04 Unsane - Scrape
For the bad falls.

05 The Dickies - Banana Splits
Get up, go fast, go crazy!

06 PTP - Rubber Glove Seduction
Ministry cohorts make a hypnotically repetitive track which I assume is about S&M. Great!

07 Miles Davis - What They Do
Eleven minute group improv with oddball starts and stops! AWESOME!!!

08 Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Fuck Off
Play this to let people know what side you're on and how hard your stance is!

09 Root Boy Slim - Boogie Til You Puke
Hopefully the audience would have a sense-of-humor too.

10 Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band - Ella Guru
Break up the rhythm, break up everything.

11 Aphex Twin - SAW2 CD1 TRK2 (Original Mix)
Hypnotize the audience with your moves while they're hypnotized by the sounds. The version on Selected Ambient Works II might be just as good, but I thought the beats would make it a little easier to follow, unless you're feeling adventurous of course.

12 Grace Jones - Bullshit
This could be the theme song for professional skaters dealing with the judges and their profession.

13 Romeo & Master Rhyme - Crackerjack (Delicious Version)
No special words, I just think this is a great track. It's worth noting that this remix is credited to Matt Dike and Michael Ross of Delicious Vinyl fame. On the surface it doesn't sound too different from the regular version, but there is definitely something different about it. Easily my favorite of the two versions, and it features a sample of Prince impersonating Morris Day from The Time's track Tricky! How obscure!

14 My Bloody Valentine - Soon
Anyone else dreamed of trying to stick this song into as many contexts as possible?

15 Hildegard Knef - Ich Liebe Euch (DJ Koze Remix)
Not your typical DJ Koze recording. This is rather beautiful. Someone should perform to something as utterly wonderful as this.

16 Frank Zappa - Weasels Ripped My Flesh
NOISE!!! GLORIOUS NOISE!!!


Has anyone seen any interesting choices of soundtracks for skating? Any videos one would recommend? If you've got suggestions, leave me a note or link in the comments, I'd love to see them!