About two weeks ago I lost the job I've been doing for most of the last eight years. I knew trouble was brewing but I really didn't think I would be considered the responsible party for the events in question. Out of the blue I get a list of complaints with my name highlighted, although upon further inspection it turns out I'm not the main reason for the complaints, and when I am involved it's primarily one person who I didn't get along with and attempted to avoid in the first place. Overall, I'm thinking that if I talk to my boss, someone I've known and respected and considered a friend, that everything is going to be alright, but he doesn't talk to me, he just fires me. Through the grapevine I heard that this was just business and that he wanted to make things right, but when he finally calls he complains that my version of the events doesn't match what he's heard, and all I can say to that is do you want my story or not? He knows what happened, and he decided to remove me to save his company's position, which I fully understand, but he did it in the worst way possible. To make matters worse yet, when we finally met he told me in a rather roundabout way that he thought I was cheating him and he didn't care about me any longer. Almost eight years and this is the way it ends, after a fantastic history with practically no issues whatsoever, and when complaints come up and I'm not even the reason for the complaints I'm fired because my name appeared in close proximity. It makes one feel pretty faithless.
All of this said, I'm not out of faith and totally believe in myself, but I can't say that I'm fully over feeling upset. My girlfriend initially thought I must have royally screwed up and couldn't accept it, but after learning the facts she's fully on my side, although she really always was, as are the rest of my family and friends, so I've still got my support system. What's crazy is looking for a new job. I've filled out applications online but I'm surprised to see most businesses don't even accept paper copies any longer. It's taking a rough and soulless part of the process and making it worse. I've got management experience, great customer service abilities, I'm very good with technology and have worked in fields where I've handled merchandise and money safely and regularly without shrinkage, but trying to fill all of this into a cookie cutter digital application feels impossible. Data will get in, but will it be interpreted correctly? Will the minutiae of my experience be read for as dynamic as it really is? Will my unique and useful traits be visible to those who should see them?
DO I HAVE A CHANCE?So, last night, after much prodding from my girlfriend as well as some friends and family and filling out applications all over the place, I went online and applied to
Walmart, assuming there is a good chance I could find employment there. I've been largely skeptical about applying to
Walmart despite knowing they have a high hire rate, mostly because I doubt I'll be working in a position that I feel I'd be suited to
(raging ego trip right there!) and everyone knows how
"interesting" the
Walmart clientele can be. Don't get me wrong, most average people shopping at
Walmart are perfectly fine, but I'm sure you've all seen a few subhumans lurking the isles from time to time. If you stuck me in the entertainment and electronics section I'd shine but how likely would it be that I would be so lucky? In an organization that big I'm sure I'd end up stocking the freezers. I'd even be happy standing at the customer service desk and answering questions, no matter what they are, as I've basically been doing that in one way or another for years, but sincerely, what are my chances?
So far, the only nibbles I've gotten was an e-mail from
AFLAC, offering what sounded like an office position, only to find out they wanted me to get my insurance license and sell their product on the road, and
Family Video, with whom I had a great interview about a possible managerial position but there were no openings locally at the time, and having just moved I can't pack up and go to Alabama. I've had friends ask me why I can't write for a living and my answer is I honestly don't know how to get started in that field or whom I should talk to. My girlfriend said
"if only I got paid for my website", to which I could only respond
"if only". So the quest continues. Don't worry, just in case you might be, I'm sure I'll find a new position shortly and everything will be just fine, and more so, I don't want to sound hopeless, it's just hard to put an amazing spin on such a murky situation.
Anyway, for my own entertainment, I made this months mixtape a soundtrack to my dilemma. I hope you find it entertaining as there is some really good stuff on it, much of which really gets me moving. Thanks for letting me bitch and moan a little. Enjoy!
The Unheard Music - October 2010 Mixtape: DO I HAVE TO WORK AT WALMART?01 David Bowie - Beauty and The BeastThe sound of a drunken
Bowie getting it together. I always think of it as the theme to someone getting back on their feet.
02 The Bird and The Bee - Heard It On The RadioMissing my job, for which all jobs are relationships. Also realizing it might not have been as good as I always thought is was.
03 Television - Little Johnny JewelVerlaine's guitar is so out there. This makes me think of punk rock as jazz. Abstract tunes always seem to lock my mind into place so I can get heavy thinking done.
04 No Age - Glitter (Long Version)A few weeks ago I was driving around to this summer jam feeling like it would keep summer from ever ending. It kinda works. The extended feedback loops at the end are just dreamy.
05 Junior Senior - Shake Your Coconuts (DFA Remix)This feels like it's mining the same area as
No Age's Glitter. The cheesy nature of the original version is ditched for what is basically
LCD Soundsystem making a bunch of noise and having a funky party in a loft somewhere in New York. Love the guitar feedback. It's like
James Murphy, who I'm assuming is playing guitar here, doesn't even care about playing notes, just making some wild textures.
06 Astrud Gilberto - Once I LovedAgain, loss of job, loss of security, feeling of betrayal. Beautiful song from the beautiful
Ms. Gilberto.
07 Lowell George - 20 Million ThingsSometimes it feels like I can do anything anyone needs, but other times I feel like I can't get anywhere myself. I guess that's what this song is kind of about, but it's what I get out of it.
08 Devo - S.I.B. (Swelling Itching Brain)Who hasn't been here? Terror, paranoia, gloom and misery? This song sums up all those feelings perfectly. I don't feel this way often, but when I have this is the soundtrack.
09 Fripp & Eno - Later OnThis is
Eno's remix of
Swastika Girls from he and
Fripp's No Pussyfooting. It was only released as the b-side to
Eno's Seven Deadly Finns single. The day I got fired I must have played
No Pussyfooting three or four times. It totally kept me grounded and calm. Love that album and love this track.
10 Los Saicos - DemoliciónRom turned me on to these guys recently. Actually, he called while I was at my first interview with
Family Video and my interviewer had to attend to some things so she told me I could return my call if I wanted to. He compared them to
Iggy and The Stooges, which I don't really agree with, but they've got the punk attitude and garage rock rawness down perfect. These guys are from
Peru and are something of a best kept secret. I might do a post about them in the near future but I believe their discography is now available legally here in the US so I won't be posting it for download if that's the case. Otherwise, this is fueling my engine.
11 Me'Shell Ndegéocello - If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)Trust me, I
CANNOT relate to this song, but I love the
F@#K YOU attitude of it! When you get knocked down sometimes you need to do more than just get back up. You need to put a little swagger back in your step. This is overflowing with swagger and it's funky as hell, so it's been on my mind. And anyway,
Me'Shell is seriously badass!
12 Jeff Simmons - I'm In The Music BusinessWhile I've never done a porn shoot and am certain I never will, I understand the misery
Mr. Simmons is conveying. That said, it's not like a song like this could really help the financial prospects of an
ex-Mother Of Invention. Not saying it isn't a good song as it is, and I love the humor of it and everything from it's parent album,
Lucille Has Messed Up My Mind, but one listen and you'll understand that there couldn't have been, or at least shouldn't have been, any illusions of a blockbuster hit record.
13 Adrian Belew - Naive GuitarA beautiful, mournful melody. For the bummier moments, although I loved this piece before my current predicament was even a possibility.
14 Dizzy Gillespie - MantecaHow can you not get up and dance to this? How can you not be filled with exuberant joy when this comes on?
Dizzy was/is the man! Afro Cuban jazz forever!
15 Brian Eno - King's Lead HatJust in case you didn't know,
King's Lead Hat is an anagram for
Talking Heads, the band
Eno had just decided to produce when he wrote this song. Not really about anything, it's simply filled with frantic energy and makes me wanna move. Not dance, not party, but make things happen.
LIKE GETTING A JOB.16 Deftones - Rocket Skates (M83 Remix)Rocket Skates? Really? Well, it's still a good
Deftones song and a fine remix from
M83. For some reason this was making me think of the
Inception soundtrack last night.
17 Nine Inch Nails - Theme For Tetsuo The Bullet ManBold, heavy, noisy, all together maddening. This makes me wanna rip my skin off and use it like a weapon. Sounds like a sick video game, or a really sick
Robbie Williams video.
18 Liz Phair - In Love With YourselfOne of
Liz's Girly-Sound demos, this is an honest reminder not to kiss your own ass. Generally I'm very serious about not believing my own hype, but sometimes you've gotta remind yourself not to let your head get too big.
PS - The
Prince post, which has been happening on Mondays for a while, will either be tomorrow or Wednesday. I've got a ton of really cool stuff ready to be shared that might get in the way of his purpleness, but don't worry, I won't forget.
PS2 - Hopefully no one working at
Walmart will take offense to this post. Not trying to knock you guys. And to anyone that wants to complain that I shouldn't be working at
Walmart, a job is a job guys. Would you rather not be able to pay your bills? Anyway, they have to hire me first, but I'd work there. That is unless someone wants to pay me 30k a year to write for their publication. I'd always take more than 30k but that would certainly pay my bills. So, who wants to hire me to write stuff for them?
PLEASE?PS3 - That part where I mentioned how if only I got paid for running this site, don't worry, I'm not going to start putting ads or anything up here. I don't believe in doing that and while I'd love to get paid for doing something I love, I don't run this place to get paid, I run it to share information, be it music, musical, historical, visual or what not. Though again, someone wanna pay me to do this thing I love?
