October 2009 Mixtape: The Kitchen Sink

I put this together at one in the morning and thought it would be a good mix for the site despite being kinda discombobulated and suffering from the weirdness. As usual, it's mostly rare, unreleased or bizarre stuff that most people have never heard. The rule for my mixtapes has always been that they have to fit on an 80 minute CD, and this one barely makes the cut, coming in at 79:51 when I burnt a copy off this morning. Enjoy!


The Unheard Music - October 2009 Mixtape: The Kitchen Sink

01 Anal Cunt - Theme From Three's Company
Anal Cunt, yes you read that right, is the brainchild of Seth Putnam. I'm sure if you listen to their tracks that you'll find the word brain is used loosely in describing their music, but damn it if I don't find these guys entertaining as hell! Full of openly nasty and disgusting jokes, their tongues have been surgically implanted in their cheeks. Don't take much seriously about them, they're pretty fucked up. Check here for more info. That said, I'm not racist, prejudiced, homophobic or whatever nasty things these guys have been incorrectly labeled in the past, and I don't think they are either, so don't start looking at me sideways.

02 Jega - Fireball
If you didn't download the Variance: Roughs, this should give you an idea what you missed out on. Awesome shit! Also, anyone know what program I can use to create the Soundwave effect as sampled in this track? That's Soundwave from Transformers. Anybody? I wanna write a song with that vocal sound all over it!

03 Avenue D - My Dirty South
Avenue D are some kinky girls who write all about being sexy and doing sexy things. These girls are filthy and I love 'em for it! This is pretty good stuff, funky and funny at the same time. Don't play this at work or around the easily offended though, you'll be in deep shit. Actually, this whole mixtape is kinda like that. WARNING: PLAY IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR CAR, HOME, OR WITH HEADPHONES ON. ONLY PLAY IN PUBLIC WITH LIKE-MINDED INDIVIDUALS WHO FIND SONGS LIKE THESE ENTERTAINING! Unfortunately Avenue D have split up, but you can still hit their website and buy some stuff! All of their releases are now available on iTunes.

04 Dink - Green Mind (Pure Organic Edit)
Kent, Ohio's very own! God bless Bob Serpentini!

05 Anal Cunt - Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
There is going to be a post about these idiots at some point in their future. Their Howard Is Bald tape, which is less than ten minutes long, is hilarious. It's also almost completely devoid of noise, which is rather exceptional for them.

06 The Notorious B.I.G. - Juicy (Pete Rock Remix)
Apparently this was the version of Juicy originally slated for Ready To Die, but it instead was released as a remix. Puffy supposedly had the album version created after hearing this so he wouldn't have to pay Pete as much cash. Would anyone be surprised if that's true? As good as the album version is though, Pete's version is the winner!

07 The Pharcyde - Soul Flower (2 Tha 3 Mix)
I'll have to dig out the interview about this remix. Fatlip was directly involved with it's production and the group, as much as they loved it, figured there was no way this mix could ever get a proper release. It was issued on a promo-only 12" and later appeared on the Sold My Soul compilation, an import-only collection of rarities, b-sides and unreleased tracks. Great sample-heavy remix!

08 Boris The Sprinkler - Kill The Ramones
These guys were great and totally weird. Rev. Nørb was their frontman if that means anything. Actually, if you know who he is you probably already know who Boris The Sprinkler are, but if you don't, enjoy their pop-punk craziness. Also, despite this song's title, they really do love the Ramones. More on Boris here.

09 Tigerboy - With Attitude?
Tigerboy is really kid606. He put this thrashing of the Misfits' Attitude out as the b-side of his remix of NWA's Straight Outta Compton. The single actually credits kid606 on the a-side and Tigerboy on the b-side, and your guess is as good as mine as to why the kid had to complicate matters so deeply.

10 69 - Desire
I was saddened to pull down the 69 stuff. It really is some of Carl Craig's best work and I wish it was easier for people to get a hold of. Carl's PR people hinted that a track or two shouldn't be an issue, so I figured I could post the amazing Desire in this month's mixtape. Remember, if you like this, you can still order the 69 boxset at the Planet E website. This track is also available on a few compilations and, if you can find it, The Sound Of Music CD which compiles the 69 EPs Lite Music and Sound On Sound.

11 Jega - The Girl Who Fell To Earth
This is from the finished Variance album and is a stunner! Go to Bleep and get a download of this NOW!!! Awesome album!

12 Violent Femmes - Breakin' Up (Demo)
Recorded in the early eighties, the 1994 version is almost identical. Just shows that you shouldn't mess with perfection!

13 Anal Cunt - Stayin' Alive (Oi Version)
Yep, more stupidity.

14 Mi Ami - Echononecho
SHIT! These guys are awesome! Prepare for spastic dub/rock noisiness! I don't know too much about Mi Ami but they have a sweet album named Watersports and are formed from the now-defunct Black Eyes. Check 'em out over at Quarterstick Records' website. You can also get Watersports on iTunes or Amazon.

15 Apotheosis - O Fortuna (Apocalypse Chorus Mix)
I knew a guy in college who went nuts for this track. He made a music video out of stuff he taped off the Discovery Channel that documented the evolution of the human race, all set to this track. It's kinda cheesy in the way that a lot of early nineties rave stuff is, but it's still a cool track.

16 Ol' Dirty Bastard - Give It To Ya Raw (SD50 Remix)
SD50 are/were Dante Ross, John Gamble and Geeby Dajani. They did a lot of hip-hop production and remixes in the nineties and pretty much everything they touched was blessed. This remix appeared on the O.D.B.E.P. which is, as far as I can tell, an import and promo-only collection of Return To The 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version remixes and b-sides. As is the standard with ODB, prepare for the weirdness! Oh, how wonderful the weirdness that ODB and Wu-Tang is!

17 Anal Cunt - Theme From The A-Team
Seriously! The A-Team Theme! That doesn't make it good, but it certainly is notable!

18 Pete Rock & Large Professor - The Rap World
Awesome collaboration between Pete and Extra P! This appeared on the High School High soundtrack with a number of rather good tracks from members of the Wu, ATCQ, D'Angelo & Eryakh Badu (!!!AWESOME!!!), The Roots and a bunch of other great artists. Great soundtrack for a shitty movie, and I'm a fan of Jon Lovitz! Check the Discogs reference to see the track list for yourself.

19 Wilco - The Good Part
Wonderful leftover from Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Jeff Tweedy cut most of the overly poppy tracks, like this one, from the album as they didn't fit with his vision, which is understandable, but when the tracks are this good they really should be released in some manner eventually.

20 Beck - In A Cold Ass Fashion
Beck wanted to name Mellow Gold after this track, but the label didn't want the word Ass on the packaging. Their loss. Essential track! I will eventually do a few Beck posts as I have so much of his stuff lying around.

21 Jahmbi Joe and The Pimps - This Song Is Called Uh-Huh
Explanation pending.

22 Anal Cunt - American Woman
Probably their cover that's truest to the original. That's not saying much though.

Charli Baltimore - Cold As Ice

I've been meaning to do a post on this album for the last few days but I've been feeling quite under the weather. Well, it's Monday and, despite being sick, I'm still working this afternoon so I might as well start on my post.

Charli Baltimore, whose real name is Tiffany Lane, is/was a female rapper signed to Untertainment/Epic around 1999 who took her name from the main character of The Long Kiss Goodnight. Like Lil' Kim, she was a protege of the Notorious B.I.G. and the label she was signed to was run by Lance "Un" Rivera, an associate of Biggie. He was also a supposed member of a rap supergroup called The Commission which, if it to be believed, would have consisted of Lance, Puff Daddy (as he was known at the time), Lil' Cease, Charli, Jay-Z and Biggie. When Biggie died in 1997 that killed plans for the group, although there are numerous tracks mentioning the Commission on the assorted member's individual releases. Regardless though, based on her star affiliations, she had a great calling card to get a contract and make some money. And as such, she hopped on the opportunity and recorded her debut, Cold As Ice.

At the time of recording, the credits for the album looked as good as gold. For starters, there were cameos from Ghostface, Cam'ron, Eightball, Mobb Deep, Big Pun, Wyclef and Noreaga, but there was also production from RZA, Teddy Riley and DJ Premier. On top of all of that, it was a decent album, sounding definitely of it's era. So, you'd be hard pressed to wonder why the album never saw a proper release. Unfortunately, so am I as I haven't found much reasoning as to why it didn't. Some possible reasons may involve sample clearance as a song with Lil' Cease was recorded called "Ice" which sampled "Ice Ice Baby" heavily. Another two tracks initially listed on the album, "Money" and "Anyway You Want It", the latter featuring Billy Lawrence, were dropped. Those tracks haven't shown up anywhere as far as I know, so who knows the real reasons behind their removal, but a version of the album was completed without those songs but featuring a bonus remix of "Horse & Carriage" with Big Pun, Wyclef, Cam'ron and Silkk The Shocker. That's where the story ended officially, but as such things are, that's not quite the end.

In the late 90's and early 00's Sony had a bad habit of giving out SHITLOADS of promo copies of whatever their current focus was, which led to some ridiculously early leaks, delays and non-releases. To be specific, most of the advance copies used to come in a small paper sleeve and usually had the album's tracklist. Most of the ones I've seen, even if they were likely to be complete bombs, saw official release, but Charli is apparently the exception to the rule. Why you wouldn't release this but you would put out miserable albums by King Britt's Sylk 130, Vitro and people on Mariah Carey's Crave label is ridiculous. Even if Charli's album hadn't been good it would still have moved some copies for it's who's-who of guest stars and producers, as opposed to any of the albums I listed above.

So, because of Sony's overenthusiastic promotions department we are lucky enough to check out Charli Baltimore's "Cold As Ice". For the record, Charli has since tried to release a few more albums, had a brief contract with Murder Inc. records and threw some disses at G-Unit and 50 Cent on mixtapes with The Game, but alas, none of this has led to her getting any of her music released apart from a few stray guest or compilation appearances and some singles. Since rappers generally have a shorter career than most artists and Charli's real hype disappeared about 10 years ago, I don't think she has much of a chance of blowing up, but you never know.

Charli Baltimore - Cold As Ice

01 Intro Skit
02 Angel's Dust
03 Stand Up (feat. Ghostface Killah)
04 Keep It Real (feat. Cam'ron)
05 Pull The Alarm (feat. Billy Lawrence)
06 Everybody Wanna Know
07 Welcome To The Tunnel (Interlude)
08 Motherfuckas Don't Want It (feat. Tony Dutch & Ace Spade)
09 Pimp Da 1 U Luv (feat. Eightball & Rodney Ellis)
10 Feel It
11 Thorough Sisters (feat. Lady Of Rage, Gangsta Boo, Queen Pen, Da Brat & Scarlet)
12 Infamous (feat. Mobb Deep & Mike Delorian)
13 They
14 Say Your Prayers (Interlude)
15 Have It All (feat. Jeni Fujita & Miss Jones)
16 NBC (feat. Cam'ron & Noreaga)
17 Making Love (feat. Brotha)
18 Wake Up Bitch (Interlude)
19 30 Miles From Baltimore (feat. Brotha)
20 Outro
21 Horse & Carriage (Remix feat. Cam'ron, Big Pun, Wyclef Jean & Silkk The Shocker)


PS - I just want to make it clear I'm not saying the "miserable" artists I listed above didn't make good music or deserve a release, instead I feel from the economical viewpoint of a label if the artists didn't have much of a chance of commercial success why were they signed in the first place? King Britt's aforementioned album, for instance, isn't really that bad, but all it takes is one listen and you know it's not going to be blowing up anywhere, at least not in the US.

Crustified Dibbs - Night Of The Bloody Apes

Crustified Dibbs is better known as R.A. The Rugged Man. He's been on the underground hip-hop scene for quite a while under the latter name but he scored a contract with Jive Records in the early 90s under the former alias. At the time it looked like he was gonna blow up or at least become a bigger underground sensation, but there were some problems. Actually, that might be an understatement.

Well documented in Ego Trip's Book Of Rap Lists, R.A. was accused of sexually harassing one of his female label-mates among other things. Without openly admitting doing so, R.A. contributed a list of the top ten ways to get your label to drop you which included such great ideas as the sexual harassment concept but actually doing it to every female artist on the label. It also includes taking a mannequin's finger, pulling down the zipper to your pants and letting the finger hang out while walking through the label's offices. There is also taking the songs that have guests on them and bootlegging them all over the place. Oh yeah, writing a song called "Every Record Label Sucks Dick" and including a sketch where you kill the label-man who turns your deal down. There is also including a song called "Cunt Renaissance" with guest star Notorious B.I.G.

Yes, there were some problems.

R.A. did eventually get some records out and continues to record today, but his first full-length, 1994's "Night Of The Bloody Apes", will most likely never see the light of day, at least not officially. The label did end up releasing one single from the album, "Bloodshed Hua-Hoo", but that's where the buck stopped. As for the album, it has showed up on bootleg cd a few times, but the sound quality is pretty awful and it's missing the skits. Well, while it doesn't sound much better than the cd, I'm posting the album, skits and all, for your listening, um, pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I really like this album and if it had seen release it would have been one of those tapes my friends and I would have played to death back in high school. It's dirty, nasty, funny and ridiculous, which is exactly what teenagers like to hear, or at least liked to hear. Do teens still like nasty, violent rap music? ;) All of that aside though, R.A. is actually a heluva rapper and has a great flow. It's great that he's still around and he seems to be doing alright. He's actually produced and co-wrote a film with Frank Henenlotter, director of "Basket Case", called "Bad Biology" and he's producing the soundtrack as well, which will feature a score with production by Prince Paul.

So, R.A. seems to be doing well for himself and all should be quite thrilled by that statement, cause if he wasn't happy he'd probably kill a lot of people with chain saws. Yeah, chain saws. Fun, fun, fun!


Crustified Dibbs - Night Of The Bloody Apes

01 Toolbox Muderer
02 You Ain't Never Been Down
03 Walking Down the Street With My Nuts In My Hand
04 Every Record Label Sucks Dick
05 R.A. Meets A.R. (Skit)
06 Hookin' With the Hookers
07 Bloody Axe
08 R.A. Classroom (Skit)
09 R.A. Be Down
10 Cunt Rennaissance (feat. The Notorious B.I.G.)
11 Back To the Rubber-Room
12 Bloodshed Hua Hoo
13 Interlude
14 Statchy
15 Bloody Body Parts In Da Fruit Punch Bowl
16 Bloodshed Hua Hoo (Nigga Niles Crusty Remix)