15 reasons it's good to be a woman

This was sent to me by "BK" (a woman). It's one of those forwarded e-mail things, but there are a few here that made me laugh...


1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don 't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Joke for a Monday morning

Warning: This one is NOT for all-ages. If you're easily offended, don't read on. Contributed by "DS"...


Ted buys a Harley. The seller tells him, "whenever it looks like it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome so it won't rust." And he hands Ted a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend takes him to meet her parents. So they take the bike, but just before they go in to her parents' house, she says: "I have to tell you, when we eat, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"Okay", he says.

Sure enough, after they sit down, no one says a word. As dinner goes on, Ted decides to test the situation, so he reaches over and grabs his girlfriend's chest. Nobody says a word. So he stands up, rips her clothes off, and has his way with her right there, in front of her parents. But no one says a word. So he grabs the mom, and does the same to her, then sits down. But still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Ted remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket and stands up.

The father shouts: "Alright, already, alright! I'll do the dishes!"

Obama and Seth Meyers Go After Trump at White House Correspondence Dinner – Video

Last night was the annual White House Correspondence Dinner, or as insiders call it – “The Nerd Prom”.

Guests and celebrities came from all over to eat dinner, drink, and hear Saturday Night Live head writer Seth Meyers roast the president.

Obama and Meyers did not waste any time jumping in to the “Long Form Birth Certificate” issue. The funny thing? Donald Trump was in the audience and looked none too happy at some of the jokes.

Just watch as the camera pans to Trump during some of the jokes and you will see a very uncomfortable man.

Seth Meyers said when he first heard Trump was running for president he thought he would run as a republican – but instead he “ran as a joke.”

Meyers then joked, “Donald Trump recently said he has a great relationship with the blacks. But unless the blacks are a white family, he was mistaken.”

There were lots of jabs at Fox News, NPR, Trump, and others.

The guest list was impressive with Angus T. Jones (who just learned his show Two and a Half Men is returning with him as the star), Kate Hudson, Sean Penn, Bristol Palin, Paul Rudd, and Glee’s Jane Lynch.

All in all it was good clean fun and showed us once again that Donald Trump really is a big douchebag.

Watch Barack Obama at the White House Correspondence Dinner


Watch Set Meyers at the White House Correspondence Dinner


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Sex at 82

Thanks to "AH" for sending me this...